Do you feel you don’t connect with your partner the way you used to? It’s natural that as a relationship develops over time, the intensity diminishes. But if you find yourselves barely speaking on any meaningful level, it might be time to take heed and take action. Communication breakdown can mean that your relationship has run its course, or could a symptom of a relationship that’s stopped growing. In the latter case, the only way to salvage the relationship is to restore communication. But how do you do that?
The fact is it’s difficult to do without outside help. One of the effects of being in a relationship is that you slip into comfortable patterns. You sense that outside those patterns lies conflict which you, of course, want to avoid. However, that’s where the chance for genuine communication lies. At such times you require the help of a trained and experienced professional such as a counsellor.
A relationship counsellor is someone who both offers sympathy and understanding together with the vital competence to guide the session in a meaningful direction. He will help you focus on the moment and the issue at hand. This way he keeps the dialogue on a constructive path of genuine communication. With the guidance of a sympathetic therapist, you can experience the joy of rediscovery. If you feel you could benefit from relationship counselling, Auckland is home to experienced professionals.
During a couples counselling session, your therapist will encourage you to talk about the issues affecting you and help pinpoint areas of conflict. As a neutral party, he’ll be able to sense when you’re avoid or skirting around issues. These are likely to be important areas that demand attention and your counsellor can gently guide you towards the real communication needed to deal with them.
It is important to bear in mind that talking does not equal communicating. Talking is a one way action and communication is all about the exchange of thoughts, ideas and opinions. That’s why if you want to improve communication in your relationship, start with listening.
The Art of Listening
You should start by listening, really listening to what your partner is saying. This is more difficult than it sounds. For most of us, listening is a time we spend preparing what we’re going to say next. For real communication, that’s not good enough.
It’s vital, too, that your partner is aware you’re really paying attention. You can help by asking for clarification, elucidation, and extra information. You’ll be rewarded by frankness, honesty and the chance to get to know your partner like never before.
Sadly, communication breakdown can also indicate the relationship is doomed. This is particularly true if lack of interest arises from lack of respect. This is painful but better discovered now than later.
If you’re unhappy with the communication in your relationship, it’s a good idea to consult a relationship counsellor. Auckland is home to many trained and sympathetic professionals who can help you re-connect and take your relationship to a new level. Contact us now at the Robert Street Clinic to find out more.