No one pretends marriage is easy. Each partner brings his own mindset, history and values to a relationship so conflict is inevitable however deep the bond between partners. Meanwhile over time, the magic of the initial attraction fades and reality sets in. This is natural but also painful. If you’re unsure, confused or worried about the future of your relationship, you’re far from alone. Most couple have issues in their marriage at some point, and ignoring them won’t make them go away. The best solution is marriage counselling, Auckland has many qualified therapists who can help. Getting professional guidance early enough can halt the slide into acrimony that can eventually destroy a marriage.
So how does marriage counselling work?
Essentially, by discussing the status of your marriage in the presence of a qualified and sympathetic counsellor, you can discover what’s working and what’s failing in your relationship. For those things working well, you can make them better. As for the problem areas, once you identify the causes of conflict, you can start to deal with them. In addition, during the therapy you’ll learn new skills such as communicating honestly and solving problems as a team. This way you’ll be well prepared to deal with any future issues that arise.
Your therapist works as a neutral observer and guide to keep your exchanges productive and help you move along a positive path. His role is vital. When two people live so closely together for a long time, it can be impossible for them to objectively evaluate the status of their relationship. They say that familiarity breeds contempt and it’s true. The result is often a roadblock that inhibits the marriage from growing. It requires an outside catalyst to help move forward and this is what your therapist provides. However, you need to do the heavy lifting.
When you attend marriage counselling, you have to be open and honest. You must be prepared to talk frankly about your hopes, fears and worries. You must discuss and accept your and your spouse’s wants and needs, and strengths and weaknesses. It demands a high level of emotional honesty, but the rewards are commensurate. Other than helping to create new bonds with your partner, it’s also a healthy experience that engenders feelings of optimism and serenity. This can re-energise a marriage. Above all, effective marriage counselling leads to real communication which can take your relationship to a whole new level of trust and love.
Marriage therapy offers you no guarantees. You may get a rare chance to rebuild your marriage into something genuine and lasting. At least, it can allow you to reach a state of acceptance. patience, lowered expectations, and mutual respect. But you need to prepare yourself for the fact that some marriages are beyond saving. However, the fact that both partners decide on seeking professional help is itself a very encouraging sign. It shows that both are still committed to the relationship. If you feel you could benefit from marriage counselling, Auckland is home to experienced professionals. Contact us now at the Robert Street Clinic to make an appointment.