Has your once-blissful relationship descended into a routine of endless argument and mutual recrimination? Do you catch yourself lamenting the good old days when you got on so well together. Maybe you’ve even been badly betrayed and doubt you can ever trust your partner again.
If any of these circumstances applies to you, take heart. Relationship counselling, which includes couple and marriage counselling, can do much to bring your situation into focus, clear the air, and start rebuilding your relationship so that it’s even stronger and more loving than it was before.
So how does couples counselling work?
Couples counselling involves you and your partner sitting down with a trained and experienced professional and talking about your situation. This method works because the counsellor’s office provides an neutral oasis of calm where you can relax and be open about how you really feel.
The bustle and stress of everyday life often makes real communication difficult. Plus, the presence of third parties such as friends and family members can impede honesty and neutrality. You need to take a step back to see what’s really going on.
The presence of a neutral party in the form of qualified counsellor gives structure to the proceedings. Other than guiding the session, the counsellor acts as a referee. He makes sure that each party has his say without being cut off, for example.
Trained in the dynamics of relationships and human interaction, a counsellor can guide your dialogue in meaningful directions. He can sense, for example, when a party is avoiding or skirting around an issue. Thus, he can gently lead the conversation so that truths emerge. This way you both can reveal and clarify issues you may have kept bottled up for years.
This is important as very often the surface reason for the conflict is just a symptom of deeper issues which one or both parties are reluctant to face.
Ultimately, the objective is to get the two parties really communicating again. One of the main components of a failing relationship is communication breakdown. This can take the form of not talking to each other or else via dialogues that consists entirely of insults and criticism. The problem is compounded by the fact that each partner knows the other’s hot buttons. In such cases it’s hard to get of this destructive loop without qualified help.
It takes courage to decide to consult a counsellor. But almost all who do so find it a rewarding experience both in terms of repairing a relationship they’d thought lost as well as experiencing the self-growth that only honesty can bring about.
What’s more, the fact that you’re both committing to seek professional advice is a strong sign you still believe in the relationship.
Remember that only in fairy tales does the couple live happily ever after. In the real world, successful relationships take work. Using the services of a qualified Auckland counsellor can help make sure that work pays off.
If you’re decided on relationship counselling, the Robert Street Clinic Auckland is home to professionals who offer sympathetic and effective solutions. Click here to contact us.