So you’ve made up your mind to try couples counselling. That’s a brave move. No one likes to admit their relationship might be failing. Many couples put a brave public face and hide their problems for as long as they can. The end result is usually an acrimonious split up. Counselling is also a smart move. The fact you’re both willing to seek professional advice is a tremendously positive sign. It shows that you value your relationship, and are committed to making it work. When you’re ready for couples counselling, Auckland professionals are waiting to help you.
So what can you expect from couples counselling?
Counselling is essentially a way for you and your partner to discuss your relationship in a neutral environment with the guidance of a trained and sympathetic counsellor. He will put you at ease and then help you identify and deal with issues that are causing you problems. Your surface conflict is likely to result from deep issues which you may find too distressing to face. However, you must deal with in order to reconnect and move forward.
Your counsellor plays many roles. He works as a mediator to ensure each party has their say. Often one partner tends to dominate which results in an unbalanced and unsatisfying relationship. Resolving this issue requires an experienced third party.
He also functions as a guide to keep the session moving in a positive and constructive direction. Left to your own devices, you and your partner might move down a well worn path to conflict and mutual recrimination. Your counsellor can keep you on the right track. Being dispassionate, he can identify issues which you’re too emotionally involved with to see clearly.
It’s not all about focusing on your failings. You’ll also be encouraged to identify what’s working well for you. Hopefully, you’ll be able to apply your successes to other parts of your relationship.
Ultimately the goal is to help you communicate better. Open communications is at the heart of a healthy relationship.
How Long Does Couples Counselling Last?
The length of your counselling depends on your objectives and the state of your relationship. If you have already identified an issue you want to focus on, then just a few sessions may be enough. You may wish to concentrate on a particular pattern of behaviour that’s causing conflict, for example. In other cases, such as with deep-rooted or undefined problems, extended therapy may be needed.
It’s important you realise that couples counselling is not some kind of miracle cure. It’s up to you to do the work; your counsellor is just a mediator, guide and adviser. Also, you need to accept the possibility that the end result will be agreeing that separation is the best option. This is painful, but better than continuing in a miserable relationship that has no future.
If you want to know more about relationship counselling, Auckland is home to many fine professionals who can answer all your questions and are committed to helping you make your relationship work again. To talk to us here at the Robert Street Clinic, contact us.